WHERE ARE THEY NOW?

In 1923, who was:
1. President of the largest steel company?
2. President of the largest gas company?
3. President of the New York Stock Exchange?
4. Greatest wheat speculator?
5. President of the Bank of International Settlement?
6. Great Bear of Wall Street?

These men were considered some of the world's most successful of their day. Now, 80 years later, the history book asks us, if we know what ultimately became of them.

The answers:
1. The president of the largest steel company, Charles Schwab, died A pauper.
2. The president of the largest gas company, Edward Hopson, went insane.
3. The president of the NYSE, Richard Whitney, was released from prison to die at home.
4. The greatest wheat speculator, Arthur Cooger, died abroad, penniless.
5. The president of the Bank of International Settlement, shot himself.
6. The Great Bear of Wall Street, Cosabee Livermore, also committed suicide.

However, in that same year, 1923, the PGA Champion and the winner of the most important golf tournament, the US Open was Gene Sarazen. What became of him?

He played golf until he was 92, died in 1999 at the age of 95. He was financially secure at the time of his death.

The moral: Forget about work. Play golf!

Laws of Golf

Law 1: No matter how bad your last shot was, the worst is yet to come. This law does not expire on the 18th hole, since it has the supernatural tendency to extend over the course of a tournament, a summer, and eventually a lifetime.

Law 2: Your best round of golf will be followed almost immediately by your worst round ever. The probability of the latter increases with the number of people you tell about the former.

Law 3: Brand new golf balls are water-magnetic. Though this cannot be proven in the lab, it is a known fact that the more expensive the golf ball, the greater its attraction to water.

Law 4: Golf balls never bounce off of trees back into play. If one does, the tree is breaking a law of the universe and should be cut down.

Law 5: No matter what causes a golfer to muff a shot, all his playing partners must solemnly chant, "You looked up," or invoke the wrath of the universe.

Law 6: The higher a golfer's handicap, the more qualified he deems himself as an instructor.

Law 7: Every par-three hole in the world has a secret desire to humiliate golfers. The shorter the hole, the greater its desire.

Law 8: Topping a 3-iron is the most painful torture know to man.

Law 9: Palm trees eat golf balls.

Law 10: San is alive…If it isn't how do you explain the way it works against you?

Law 12: A golfer hitting into your group will always be bigger than anyone in your group. Likewise, a group you accidentally hit into will consist of a football player, a professional wrestler, a convicted murderer and an IRS agent - or some similar combination.

Law 13: All 3-woods are demon-possessed.

Law 14: Golf balls from the same "sleeve" tend to follow one another, particularly out of bounds or into the water (See Law 3).

Law 15: A severe slice is a thing of awesome power and beauty.

Law 16: "Nice lag" can usually be translated to "lousy putt." Similarly "tough break" can usually be translated "way to miss an easy one, sucker."

Law 17: The person you would most hate to lose to will always be the one who beats you.

Law 18: The last three holes of a round will automatically adjust your score to what it really should be.

Law 19: Golf should be given up at least twice per month.

Law 20: All vows taken on a golf course shall be valid only until the sunset.

 

DEFINITE truisms regarding the game of golf!
The game of golf is 90% mental and 10% mental.

Since bad shots come in groups of three, a fourth bad shot is actually the beginning of the next group of three.

When you look up, causing an awful shot, you will always look down again at exactly the moment when you ought to start watching the ball if you ever want to see it again.

Every time a golfer makes a birdie, he must subsequently make two triple bogeys to restore the fundamental equilibrium of the universe.

If you want to hit a 7 iron as far as Tiger Woods does, simply try to lay up just short of a water hazard.

To calculate the speed of a players downswing, multiply the speed of his back-swing by his handicap; i.e., back-swing 20 mph, handicap 15, downswing = 600 mph.

There are two things you can learn by stopping your back swing at the top and checking the position of your hands: how many hands you have, and which one is wearing the glove.
Hazards attract, fairways repel.

You can put a draw on the ball, you can put a fade on the ball, but no golfer can put a straight on the ball.

A ball you can see in the rough from 50 yards away is not yours. If there is a ball in the fringe and a ball in the bunker, your ball is in the bunker. If both balls are in the bunker, yours is in the footprint.

Golf balls are like eggs -- they're white, they're sold by the dozen, and a week later you have to buy more.

It takes longer to learn good golf than it does brain surgery  On the other hand, you seldom get to ride around on a cart, drink beer, and eat hot dogs while performing brain surgery.

A pro-shop gets its name from the fact that you have to have the income of a professional golfer to buy anything in there.

It's amazing how a golfer who never helps out around the house will replace his divots, repair his ball marks, and rake his sand traps. 
 
When you stop to think about it, did you ever notice that it's a lot easier to get up at 6:00 A.M. to play golf, than at 10:00 to mow the yard?

Golf is by far the ultimate love / hate relationship.  Sometimes it seems as though your cup runneth and moveth over.

A good drive on the 18th hole has stopped many a golfer from giving up the game.

Water hazards are no walk in the park for fish, turtles, frogs or gators either.

Golf is the perfect thing to do on Sunday because you always end up  praying a lot.

A good golf partner is one who's always slightly worse than you.

That rake by the sand trap is there for golfers who feel guilty about skipping out on lawn work.

If there's a storm rolling in, you'll be having the game of your life.

If your opponent has trouble remembering whether he shot a six or a seven, he probably shot an eight.

You probably wouldn't look good in a Green Jacket anyway!  A sweatshirt will do just fine!

DEFINITE truisms regarding the game of golf!
Don't buy a putter until you've had a chance to throw it.

Never try to keep more than 300 separate thoughts in your mind during your swing.

When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either hit one more club or two more balls

If you're afraid a full shot might reach the green while the foursome ahead of you is still putting out, you have two options: you can immediately shank a lay-up or you can wait until the green is clear and top a ball halfway there.

The less skilled the player, the more likely he is to share his ideas about the golf swing

No matter how bad you are playing, it is always possible to play worse.

The inevitable result of any golf lesson is the instant elimination of the one critical unconscious motion that allowed you to compensate for all of your many other errors.

If it ain't broke, try changing your grip.

Golfers who claim they don't cheat also lie.

Everyone replaces his divot after a perfect approach shot.

A golf match is a test of your skill against your opponents luck.

It is surprisingly easy to hole a fifty foot putt.... for an 8.

Counting on your opponent to inform you when he breaks a rule is like expecting him to make fun of his own haircut.

Nonchalant putts count the same as chalant putts.

It's not a gimme if you're still away.

The shortest distance between any two points on a golf course is a straight line that passes directly through the center of a very large tree.
There are two kinds of bounces; unfair bounces and bounces just the way you meant to play it.

You can hit a two-acre fairway 10% of the time and a two-inch branch 90% of the time.

If you really want to get better at golf, go back and take it up at a much earlier age.